When some people talk about resilience, the view seems to be that it is about how much stress, strife and …. you can take, which in my view isn’t what resilience is about.
The dictionary definitions of resilience are:
- The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness: the often remarkable resilience of so many women.
- The ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity: nylon is excellent in wearability and resilience.
Based on the above we can all agree that resilience isn’t about how much crap you can take, it is how you recover and bounce back from the crap you have been taking. I know these are strong words, however I am very much of the opinion that resilience requires a strong constitution. This also means that you shouldn’t be taking the crap in the first place.
There are times it is essential to call individuals out on their unacceptable behaviour and make it very clear to them that you are mad as hell and you aren’t going to take it anymore. This doesn’t make you weak or emotional, it means you are setting very clear boundaries which should be respected.
I think because a few people mistaken resilience for the ability to endure mistreatment they may unwittingly be putting up with behaviours bordering on abuse.
As you can see from my video accompanying this article, it is important to put the issues bothering you things into perspective by trying to get to the bottom of what the actual problem is. Additionally having an outlet for your frustration as well as a supportive network to enable you to work through your recovery process is a powerful way to bounce back.
Hang in there and remember life is sweet.